Mark Lanegan

Did you call for the night porter?

I’m listening to Stockholm City Blues, staring at the window of this recently bought apartment. I wish I had my brother Aldo here to shoot a few more bucks. Rain isn’t making rivers today, but tears are. Soaking through the fallen coats and boots. I can’t even tell you when enough is enough. And I paid to kill myself a little today, trading a few more nickels for a few minutes less living this hellish life. Fuck my god and its existence. The medicine didn’t hit today, but fuck it. I’m sad about you parting ways with this world.

If you ask me about your work, I’d say Scraps at Midnight as your top album, really. Hospital Roll Call? Sixteen. I consumed it on a room waiting to get my femur nails done, for fuck’s sake. This accident fucked my life. But you were there for me, and I recall having you playing on repeat. You know Hotel? What a fucking masterpiece.

From the dive down to the well
Usually I fall, tell myself
It doesn’t matter anyway
That this is just another day
I don’t speak the truth too much
Hear the roars and the hush
And the cold chill of time
And I’m happy murderin’ my mind

Actually, I got introduced to you by your song, Low, and I was instantly addicted. And although my life had a very different trajectory than yours, I felt every single song deep in my heart for the years to come. You know, you have something special in you. You are not afraid. Your Sing Backwards and Weep book is great. I read it during my recovery from that fucking motorcycle accident. Fuck cars, I don’t like them just like Blaze didn’t like them. Killer machines or whatever. You had the rock-the-boat lifestyle most of us didn’t even dare to think of. But you prevailed, you fucking did it. You suffered, you got your shit together and gave us the greatest advice and companionship in life. All those nights alone wandering the streets, having you playing on my old Volkswagen. Fucking night rides, dear friend. I can’t even think of a song of yours to describe this feeling. As Warren Ellis said, wherever you are, I really hope you hear the tears, because there are a lot of them right now. Most people don’t even understand what the fuck it is to have you playing for hours whenever we needed you the most.

Did you call for the night porter?
You smell the blood runnin’ warm
I stay close to this frozen border
So close I can hit it with a stone
Now something crawls right up my spine
That I always got to follow
Turn out the lights
Don’t see me drawn and hollow
Just blood runnin’ warm

I’m in between worlds by this news. I’m speechless. Completely apathetic towards the world. Fucking frozen border. And what hurts the most is that I’m completely haunted by this. I believe your blood isn’t running warm anymore, but there’s something in you that will prevail for a lifetime. You’ve been with me for a few years, and you’ve been my greatest companion during those fucking hard times. Well, fuck it. I’m really speechless, I can’t even think of a word to fucking type. I’ve turned out the lights now, scratched your vinyl, poured myself whiskey and decided to listen to Bubblegum until I fall asleep. I used to say you were - and forever will be - my go-to artist whenever I needed to freeze my heart against this fucking cold world.

You know, my best friend died. You were there for me.
I had a motorcycle, and someone ran me over with a car. You were there for me.
When the great depression hit a few years ago, you were there for me.
When I needed to be a cold-hearted motherfucker, you were there for me.
Whenever I felt lost, you were there for me.

I remember seeing you live both at Paredes de Coura with Dead Combo, and at Hard Club Porto. I remember taking a picture with you, but you were just lightning up your cigarette - ready to smoke it down to the filter - and I was laughing so hard, because you really didn’t give a shit - in a friendly way, of course.

Mark, I’ll drift through the years and see what’s next for the years to come.

To Trips once cheered me with a big abrazo & muita vida boa.
I’ll raise a glass for you, and live to that.

See you soon,
dear friend.